I chose to review December Boys for one reason: Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe).  Consider this the first installment in a series of reviews where I decide if the Harry Potter children will exist post-HP, or if they will disapparate from Hollywood at the conclusion of movie seven.

Released in 2007 (between the Order of the Phoenix and the Half-Blood Prince), December Boys is a simple, coming-of-age tale based on a book of the same name by Michael Noonan, and is apparently comparable to our Catcher in the Rye.  From everything I’ve read, the movie fails to do the book justice (as most book-based movies do).

The plot focuses on four orphaned boys; the eldest, Maps, played by Radcliffe (way to be an orphan again, Harry), and his three best friends, Misty (Lee Cormie), Sparks (Christian Byers), and Spit (James Fraser). 

The December Boys got their name because (surprise!) they all celebrate their birthday in December.  When the nuns at their Australian Roman Catholic orphanage come upon some extra donation money, they decide to send the boys on a “holiday” (which is better than a “vacation”, because it is European…or Australian…or just simply not American) to a cove on the South coast of Australia. 

Throughout the summer, the boys build a relationship with the residents of the tiny cove, including the seductive Lucy (Teresa Palmer) who serves as Maps’ first kiss (among other firsts). Eventually, the boys catch wind that a certain couple in the cove might adopt one of them permanently, causing competition within the group of friends for the first time in their lives.  

The movie is mainly filmed on gorgeous Kangaroo Island, where the scenery alone is enough to make you want to pack your bags for a holiday immediately.  And the boys’ youthful, playful demeanor will leave you nostalgic for the simple, care-free days of childhood.

But other than that, the film is a bit dry.  The boys don’t seem terribly troubled, for orphans, and we never actually see them do anything bad – there is mediocre rebellion, some minor smoking and drinking, a little bit of fighting, and a sensual scene between Maps and Lucy, but for the most part, these are best behaved orphans ever created.  This is not to say that all orphans are delinquents, but when I saw that the movie was rated PG-13 for “sexual content, nudity, and underage drinking and smoking”, I expected more.

Even the boys troubling emotional struggle to become adopted and have a family seemed forced, and I found Misty (Lee Cormie) to be one of the most annoying child actors I have ever seen (there was something obnoxious about his cheesy face, although I do think he would play the perfect child version of Kevin Connolly).

The supporting characters felt underdeveloped and flat, and I believe the subplots of the film were saved only by one particular scene where Misty imagines nuns cartwheeling on the beach (and possibly the scenes where the boys wear burnt orange swimsuit skirts).

As far as Daniel Radcliffe goes, I give him zero stars for his poor movie choice. But despite his character’s lack of depth, his acting was fine – he plays just another boy, not unlike his role in Harry Potter (minus the sweet magical powers). 

Overall, December Boys wasn’t horrible enough to eliminate him from the running for “Most Likely to Succeed After HP”.  I have yet to see the made-for-TV film, My Boy Jack – his supposedly “most mature role yet” as Rudyard Kipling’s troubled son (for which he sports a macho mustache!).  I’m curious to see why this role is considered more adult than dropping trou in the Broadway production of Equus. Stay tuned to find out.