New Moon is quite possibly the worst movie I have had to sit through in a theater. I can honestly say that the best part about the movie was the box of Sno-Caps that I snuck in. Yet, for some reason, a lot of women seem to love it. While I was in the theater, there was a girl that stood up and clapped the first few times Edward or Jacob were on screen. There was also a man in the row in front of me who fell asleep and started snoring loudly. I think that pretty much sums up the contrasting views on this movie.
I’m a big horror movie buff, so I’m used to bad acting. Bad acting is something you come to expect in a lot of horror movies. But in New Moon the acting was over-the-top bad. Each time Edward Cullen (played by Robert Pattinson) spoke, it took forever for him to say what he was trying to say. For some reason, vampires in the Twilight world seem to be blessed with super-speed but can only speak at half the rate of a normal person. Taylor Lautner’s character Jacob Black didn’t shine much in the film either. He had two emotions: happy, and “Things are about to get ugly.“ Halfway through the film we learn that he’s a werewolf that needs to protect Bella (Kristen Stewart) from some ‘bad vampires.’ Somehow, he was actually able to do this even though he couldn’t protect the shirt on his back, which he only wore for a third of the movie. It was later explained to me that he had to keep his shirt off because when he turned the shirt would be ripped to shreds. This doesn’t make any logical sense. You know when you’re going to turn, take your shirt off right before! Your pants get ripped off too, but you still wore pants (thankfully)!
As for Bella, I saw no character growth at all. All she does is whine and cry and say things like “Eh….. Huf…. Uh…..” I have question for you Bella, do you have a brain? You’re an idiot! Bella is surrounded by vampires and told a story about werewolves and vampires in her town, and she doesn’t realize there’s werewolves? Her acting can be summed up with a confused look, because that’s the only expression she had throughout the film.
The acting wasn’t all bad though. Dakota Fanning played a vampire named Jane and had the only believable acting in the entire film. Granted, she only had three or four lines, but they were well done. Good job Dakota!
Let’s talk about the story. Bella loves Edward, Edward loves Bella. In the first film, some bad vampires wanted to hurt Edward, but they couldn’t, so they chose to attack Bella. Now in New Moon, Edward decides it’s best that he leaves so Bella doesn’t get hurt. Does anybody see a problem with this? If I’ve learned anything from years and years of comic books and action movies, it’s that the villain ALWAYS goes for a lover/family member of the protagonist. It happened in Spider-Man 1 and 2, a few of the Die Hard‘s, The Dark Knight, almost any Arnold movie, and even Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Why wouldn’t it happen to Bella? You’d think that 1000 years of collective vampire wisdom in the Cullen family would know that, but I guess not.
The cheesiness of this movie is topped off in a scene where Bella asks the Cullen family to vote on whether or not she should be a vampire. Really? You’re becoming the undead and damning your soul to hell, and you put it up to vote in a family of vampires? But what’s losing your soul when you can have sweet powers like sparkling in the sun?!
Did I mention the amount of blood in this movie? Bella got a paper cut, and her finger bled. That’s right, a movie about vampires vs werewolves and there’s very little blood. I’m no vampire expert, but don’t vampires thrive on blood? This is quite ridiculous, as was the rest of the movie. The only thing that got me through watching this movie was that I knew I got to go home and watch football afterwards… Even though the Bears blew it… AGAIN. Of course, I would rather watch the Bears lose over having to sit through another Twilight movie. I’m not wasting money on the next one.
New Moon gets 1 star as far as I’m concerned, and that’s only because my Sno-Caps were delicious! Also, our rating system doesn’t go any lower than that…. So ladies, do your guy a favor and leave him at home. If you want to get a girls take on New Moon, you can find Candice’s review here.
hahahahahahahahahahahahah.
hahaha…wow! That was pretty harsh. Harsh, but all true.
haha. i am so glad that you posted this, and i wish i had the time to write a review for the movie too. realistically, i think most girls would give it somewhere around 2 or 3 stars.
personally, i think it earns some stars just BECAUSE it was so bad. i laughed hysterically every time edward sparkled. and every time he said a cliche uber-cheesy line. and every time those awkward pauses occurred and the actors took 5 minutes to say something that should have taken 3 seconds. i laughed a lot.
but most of the problems you complained about come straight from the book. and that’s because stephanie meyer is one of the most horrible authors in the history of the world. i wish that the film makers could have improved the story for big screen. they failed.
stephanie meyer is a brilliant author, her descriptions and the story in it self is so overwhelming and powerful but as for the film, it did not live up to my expeditions from the book. i prefered twilight much more than newmoon, but i still think your being harsh. and as for what jake sed about jacob black not keeping his shirt on its because wearwolves are boiling they are about 200 degrees celcius, can u imagine keeping your shirt on in that heat?
First of all, I’d like to thank you for coming to the site and being moved enough to comment.
Having said that, I am being harsh, and the film deserves it. The amount of people that flocked out and saw this movie is appalling, especially when there are so many more films that are more deserving of doing well in the theater (i.e. ‘Precious’).
As far as the story goes, if Jacob Black’s body temperature is indeed 200 degrees Celsius then there are even more holes in the story. Bella would be burned by touching him, in fact he’s almost at the temperature where skin ignites. At the very least, he would being melting the vinyl of the seat and the steering wheel in Bella’s truck.
The skin isn’t that warm its the body temperature inside. as ‘wearwolves’ are genetically wired differently so the heat doesnt effect them.
hey u shutup because it had a lot of action in it it wasnt that romantic u just have issues u retard
…huh? Are the punctuation keys missing from your keyboard?
hey but it was a good movie how is it bopring and im not talking to u jade im talking to whoever saya this movie sucks
Conclusion: Twilight fans use poor grammar, and cannot spell anything. Non-Twilight fans use correct grammar. And can spell. And also don’t call others names (as in the word “retard” which is out of line, not to mention completely inappropriate and insensitive).
“Conclusion: Twilight fans use poor grammar, and cannot spell anything. Non-Twilight fans use correct grammar. And can spell. And also don’t call others names (as in the word “retard” which is out of line, not to mention completely inappropriate and insensitive).”
That’s a pretty poor conclusion, judging by your poor grammar and punctuation skills. -1 point for the Non-Twilight fans.
jade, josh, i appreciate you sticking up for me, but its a losing battle.
i really am a horrible author. thanks for buying my books though.
Was it anything like an episode of Dawson’s Creek? I could see James Van Der Beek with fangs, nah, better with a football in Varsity Blues.
Anonymous- i have uses correct punctuation, thank you very much.
jade,
i have provided a description of your errors:
stephanie meyer is a brilliant author, her descriptions and the story in it self is(<should be are, not is) so overwhelming and powerful but as for the film, it did not live up to my expeditions <(unless you were traveling around the world while reading this book, this should be expectations, not expeditions) from the book. <(this is a run-on sentence.)
i prefered <(it's preferred) twilight much more than newmoon<(this should obviously be two words), but i still think your being harsh. and as for what jake sed about jacob black not keeping his shirt on its<(this should be it's) because wearwolves <(should be werewolves) are boiling<(should have a period for end of sentence) they are about 200 degrees celcius<(should be celsius), can u <(should be spelled out, because you have no character limit) imagine keeping your shirt on in that heat?
comment 2:
The skin isn’t that warm <(should be a comma or period, but either way this is another run-on) its <(since you are trying to say it is, this should be it's with an apostrophe) the body temperature inside. as ‘wearwolves’ <(again, it's werewolves) are genetically wired differently so the heat doesnt <(obviously it's doesn't) effect <(this is the wrong use of effect…here it should be affect..because affect is a verb, while effect is a noun) them.
comment 3:
Anonymous- i have uses <(used?) correct punctuation, thank you very much.
in most cases, people will take you more seriously if you use correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation. they will take you even less seriously if you use poor grammar, spelling, and punctuation, and then tell them that you have "uses" it correctly.
People will take you more seriously if you correct people correctly. You didn’t notice that Jade used “your” instead of “you’re”. You’re not helping the Non-Twilight fans.
sorry that was a typing mistake, but you are quite sad for spelling out my mistakes. yes it had a bit of bad grammar but i was in a rush writing the comments and also angry and what Jake had wrote, but i do have good grammar as i am in the top set for english and all subjects thank you very much. by the way- you have way too much time on your hands to be spelling out my grammar mistakes!
How in the world can you say New Moon is rubbish? I doubt very much that “anonymous” can write such amazing books, so give Stephenie Meyer some credit. She wrote this when she was a full time mum, c’mon like, talk about a miracle. She wrote her books in a way that makes me feel as if I am actually in the book itself. No other author produces books so vivid and original. I dont know how Stephenie wrote the twilight saga, but I am so glad she did. JADE I agree with you completely, she is an outstanding writer and does not deserve such harsh critisism. It is difficult to turn a excellent book into a good film.
“anonymous” you can correct my comment all you want, it is your time your wasting love. This isn’t an GCSE exam, I won’t be getting a grade for it so correct all day if that’s what floats your boat. But to be honest respect other people’s opinion, and if you have an opinion, either keep it to yourself or be polite, it doesn’t hurt, but at least you know that “retard” is not a polite way of talking to someone else.
x
I totally agree with you Tasmin, i have never been a girl for much reading, until the Twilight saga. Stephanie Meyer wrote the books in such an amazing way that she caught my attention straight away and i was instantly engaged in the book and wanting to know more. Yes the films were not as good, but that has nothing to do with Stephanie Meyer. Either way the film still does not deserve such harsh critism as it was still a very good film. What film is any better than the book version anyway? none, as the books allways have more in them and a more descriptive way of capturing the persons imagination!
I would also like to add, that I personally think that I am average at English, and I am also in the top set for all subjects same as Jade.
Honestly, I would not have the time to correct every single mistake in a paragraph, im not a teacher I don’t get paid for doing it.
If you think that you are helping others by correcting them, well sorry love I don’t think you help in the slightest. However, thankyou for the attempt.
Everyone has their own opinion. This is because every one is different, but this does not mean you have to critisize other people’s opinions. Take them into consideration and learn from them.
x
Hi Tasmin! Welcome to the site!
First of all, let’s be realistic. This is a movie about vampires and werewolves. So, that being said, I think this franchise is in the realm of “anything goes”. Maybe if these bloodsuckers and shape shifters actually existed, we’d be able to evaluate Bella’s reactions and behavior more appropriately. But, it’s not possible. Nobody on the face of the earth has ever gone through what she’s going through. Sure, she may be in the middle of a crazy ass love triangle, which we all know isn’t exactly uncommon. But, has anyone ever been torn between a hot, mysterious vampire and a cute werewolf? I don’t think so (and if you have, please email me a.s.a.p.).
Secondly, you say, “This doesn’t make any logical sense. You know when you’re going to turn, take your shirt off right before!”. This makes completely perfect sense. If you knew anything about the books, you’d know that Jacob is one of the few wolves that can really control when he’s going to shift. But, at this point in the series, he’s still learning to control it. If you watched the movie, instead of making love to your sno-caps (no offense) you would have seen the part where Bella punches Paul in the face and he “loses control” and shifts. How would they ever have enough time for a wardrobe change?
I disagree that there isn’t any character growth for Bella during all of New Moon. How could someone NOT change as a person (or a character) with all that happened to her in this movie? She starts out the movie, happy and deeply in love with a blood thirsty vampire that suddenly leaves her. She goes through a severe depression, becomes bff’s with a psycho werewolf and then loses him as well. Then, she gets her wolf back, goes to save her vampire, loses the wolf again and then is proposed to by her vampire. All of this happening while she’s going through possibly one of the worst times in a young woman’s life. The transition from happy to a sudden depression is character growth in one way or another.
The acting is one of my favorite parts about these movies. It seems so real to me. Why wouldn’t we, as humans, prefer to watch someone who doesn’t seem to be acting at all? It makes the whole experience that much more realistic. Real people don’t deliver lines perfectly, word for word. We stumble over words, stutter, gets words switched around and huff and puff. If realistic wasn’t appealing to a majority of the human race, reality t.v. wouldn’t be what it is today. Dakota Fanning on the other hand, really disappointed me in that role. She almost seemed intimidated by the part. It was like watching an amateur. It really bothered me because I always thought she was an amazing actor. Maybe it just wasn’t a great choice by the casting director. Jane is a very powerful vampire and Dakota Fanning didn’t portray that well at all in my opinion.
Also, if you wanna see blood guts and gore in a movie, you should already know that the Twilight Saga isn’t going to satisfy. The whole point is that the Cullens aren’t proud to be what they are. They survive solely on the blood of animals and they don’t make a show of meal time.
All in all, I give your review of New Moon 1 star for sheer ignorance. How can you even review a movie if you’re not paying attention?
Your comment was just about as long as my review! You are yet another woman who loves this movie. I have yet to find a guy who likes it as much as ladies do. In fact, Matthew from The Oatmeal seems to feel the same way as I do.
I didn’t want to see blood and guts, I just expected it. I have this complaint in a lot of movies… Even Star Wars could have used a little bit of blood (at least explains it a little bit by saying “the lightsabers cauterize the wounds.”)
I don’t think I said I didn’t pay attention. Unfortunately, I paid attention throughout the film (I don’t know how you can sit in a theater and not pay attention to the movie).
Come on! Where is the debate? Argue my points! AH! lol
OH MY!
Thanks Jake
Havn’t had the time to have a look at any recent posts sorry.
New Moon is out now, what do you think of that? x